CULTIVATING A HEART OF GRATITUDE MEANS MAINTAINING THE CONSTANT REALIZATION
THAT IF WE GOT WHAT WE DESERVED, WE'D BE DEAD;
THEREFORE, ANYTHING IN EXCESS IS A BLESSING.

When it comes to Christian dating (and dating in general), there are some things to keep in mind as you embark on your journey. Here at CMLA, we have a few mandatory criteria, namely--respect the privacy of your match(es), refrain from any inappropriate or non-consenting sexual behavior, hold God up to the highest honor throughout the dating process. However, these are baseline requirements.

To really be successful in finding someone, we offer support through our free on-call dating coaches as well as the following tips and resources:

Getting in the Mindset:

• Cultivate the right desires. Does she really need to be a 10? Is him being 5'11.5 really a deal breaker? At the end of the day, we all grow old and shrink.
• Instead of “godliness”, look for growth in your partner’s faith. Keep an open mind. Everyone's moving at their own pace. It's not about the state we're at but the direction of our heart.
• Men: take risks and be vulnerable so that you can lead effectively
• Women: Be confident in who Christ made you to be
• Men: until you're officially together, treat every potential match with respect as if they were someone else's wife
• Women: until you're officially together, treat every potential match with respect as if they were someone else's husband

The First Date:

• Choose a location that either suits both of you or suits the girl's needs (remember, she's spending the time and money to look pretty in advance)
• You can offer to pick a girl up, but we suggest planning a central meeting point (for safety purposes...just in case)
• If sitting down on the date, try to sit on the same side or at 90 degrees rather than directly across from one another. There's a psychology behind this.
• Ask fun/ borderline ridiculous questions. You don't want the experience to feel like a boring interview.
• Don't brag
• Practice active listening
• Be vulnerable
• Share your walk with Christ
• Don't scare them off by talking about marriage and kids right off the bat
• Don't let the girl pay on the first date (I know this is a topic of controversy, but trust us...)
• If you like a guy, you don't have to kiss on a first date, but you can show your affection by flirting while stroking his arm or touching him somehow (other than an awkward good by hug)

The Afterwards:

• Remember that the outcome of a first date is not a "yes I will marry you" or "no I will not". Rather, it's a "yes, I'm open to learning more" or "no, this fundamentally could never possibly work". Keep an open mind, relationships take time.
• If you're still saying no, are you self sabotaging? Take a critical look at yourself and ask if the reasoning for no is a fundamental deal breaker.
  
• Don't fall into the common dating app trap of thinking this was just a disposable encounter and onto the next. There aren't THAT many suitable prospects as you think. Plus, you were personally matched for a reason and prayed over.
• SO if you're open to getting to know that person further, let him or her know...and let them know in the next 24 hours. Don't play it cool. No one likes that.
  
• If you're not interested, stay as friends. Who know's what can happen?
• If you want to talk it over with one of our dating coaches (in addition to the feedback call), reach out to our team accordingly.